Love

Well I haven't been posting as often as I'd like, but I have instead switched to a hand-written journal of things I listen to, read, hear, discuss, and think - because I tended to lose the meaning by the time I finally made it to the computer and sat down to write. Hopefully a more real-time log will work out better for me.

I transcribed some things I've been writing down while listening, and one comes from Ravi Zacharias ("Let My People Think" podcast - it's one of my favorites).

He says, "Conviction, ungirded by love, will make the possessor of them obnoxious, and the dogma he possesses repulsive. That is why the cohesive factor in the ministry of the early church resulted in the comment: Behold how they love one another!
Love of God gives coherence to all the truths that we cling to."

He then defines opinion versus conviction, which I thought was an interesting contrast:

opinion - position you hold that voices a preference or degree
conviction - that which is guided by your conscience; you must change conscience in order to change conviction

"The Early church - conviction mixed with love of God, spread from 120 believers to world-wide despite severe persecution."

Now, I know from experience - both from the way I react, and the way others have reacted to me - that Ravi's statements are true. Judgement from man's heart just leads us to react with defense, "Well you're no better than I am!".

However, we are instructed in the New Testament to admonish each other in the Word:

And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.
~ 2 Thessalonians 3:14

So we are not to simply keep quiet when we see each other falling away from or disobeying God's Word.

But - only when we have that love for God, and speak out of true conviction (rather than opinion) and true sacrificial love for the other person, can we be effective in strengthening each other... how do we find that balance?

Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
~ 2 Thessalonians 3:15

I've been reading Paul's epistles the past few weeks, and he always greets the churches he is writing. He almost always mentions: that grace is given to them from God, his thankfulness to God for them, and evidences of their faith and what it has done to strengthen them:


Paul, and Silvanus, and Timothy, unto the church of the Thessalonians in God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ:
Grace unto you, and peace, from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth;
So that we ourselves glory in you in the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that ye endure
~ 2 Thessalonians 1:1-4 (emphasis added)

He points out the good aspects of their growing faith, and only then he beings to instruct them how to further improve... rather than just immediately pointing out the faults, he reminds of God's grace and how it helps us grow.

Lord, help me receive instruction with a desire to improve. Help myself and others bring people closer to you - rather than pushing them away with our own judgement and opinion. Instead, give words that convict them of the need for You, and help us live lives that show joy in You.
If they don't see that we joy in You - we who claim to be saved and washed by the blood Your Son shed at Calvary - lip-service testimony will never convince them how awesome, gracious, wonderful, and Holy You are.

Strengthen us, Turn us, Revive us. Help us live those lives.


Turn us again, O LORD God of hosts, cause thy face to shine; and we shall be saved.
~ Psalm 80:19

Wilt thou not revive us again: that thy people may rejoice in thee?
~ Psalm 85:6

Theolo-gee...

(as defined on Pastor/Professor Belcher's Lakeview Bible Institutute Theology I Midterm)

Wisdom: God's choices/plans will always result in the best possible outcome.

Providence: the fact that God is still constantly involved in His creation.

It's funny, because the definitions that we have learned so far in Theology 1 seem so simple at first glance.
Well of course God is wise.
Well of course God is still in control.
We say we know all these things... but what is so sad is that we've ceased to be amazed by them.
I love this class because, as all these little definitions build in my brain, they form a stack of known qualities of God... and I realize just how little we do know, and how little we will ever be capable of knowing.

I love that definition of God's wisdom - because it is so completely the opposite of the human condition. We have absolutely no idea the outcome of any of even our smallest decisions until time trickles along and shows us.
It is never the case that our self-motivated choices always result in the best possible outcome.
As much as we think we want to be (and think we are) in control of the world around us - it's such a delusion the world has created. I love being reminded of God's providence - I love being reminded that I am utterly weak in comparison. I love being reminded that I am the creation of a creative God who created me for His glory.
I love being reminded... because it reminds me of the one sole purpose we were all created for.

I love these definitions I'm learning, because there are books upon books upon books of definitions about God - and they remind me of how impossible it is to define Him in His awesome mystery, and yet how wonderful it is to know we can learn for the rest of our lives and never reach the end of the understanding.

It reminds me of this definition:

Main Entry: won·der
Pronunciation: 'w&n-d&r
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English wundor;
1 a : a cause of astonishment or admiration
b : MIRACLE
2 : the quality of exciting amazed admiration
3 a : rapt attention or astonishment at something awesomely mysterious or new to one's experience

O Lord my God! when I in awesome wonder

Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made,

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed:

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul! my Savior God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When through the woods and forest glades I
wander

And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;

When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur

And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze:

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul! my Savior God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing,

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;

That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died to take away my sin:

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul! my Savior God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!

Then I shall bow in humble adoration,

And there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul! my Savior God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

capacity

It's funny... I went through school with such a hunger for knowledge. Some people's parents pushed them to make good grades - some kids seemed almost bred by their parents to be intelligent.

I think my parents were probably absolutely shocked when I started making good grades in school, and got put in the honors courses. I just always remember my parents being supportive, excited, and always a little surprised at my next venture in school. I never felt pushed to make good grades or to devour the textbooks - I just did it because... well because I wanted to.

I loved math, I loved science, I loved reading, and I loved music. I loved doing well, I loved learning more, and I loved having the teacher's approval. After four years of high school, I looked forward to college - and then after four years of college - I was burned out. I had spent four years having to struggle a little more for the good grades in Chemistry classes. I was urged to go on to graduate school, but I had just had enough... the struggle had lost its luster for some reason. I loved being a student, but college specializes and gets bogged down in the details - and I so loved the generic big picture of science better than the tedious details.

So I left the world of academia and entered the work force. Tedious details became tedious monotonous details; and I just thought I was burned out at graduation. Wow. After about four years of living on my own, doing what I thought made me happy - I realized that my hunger for learning never got satisfied. There was still something missing. My first instinct when I have a question has always been to pick up a book for the answer; but I've finally realized I was picking up the wrong books.

All that effort and reading in the past seemed like it was amounting to something, but it just landed me jobs that I grow tired of after I reach what I think is my level of "best", and I'm ready to move on.

Now I've finally found some classes that mean something, some books that actually lead to something, and a knowledge that I'll never reach the end of - but won't ever get tired of trying. It's amazing the feeling to realize that God has given me an awesome capacity for learning - and finally using it to learn more about Him. I see that it's not easy for everyone - and I do put a lot of time in to it, but I love making the time for it. Even on my most frustrated days - I look forward to the classes at the end of my workday on Thursday. It's been hard - and it's only been a few weeks; but I've learned more and wanted to learn more than I ever have.

And I haven't just learned facts... I've learned that learning more about God just makes me realize how much I will never know about Him because He is so much bigger than we can ever describe with our words.

It was so funny how I started getting excited when I heard we were going to have these classes offered at the church. I started looking for my backpack - started wanting to buy school supplies; I was a first grader looking forward to learning how to read for the first time again. I had loved the theology classes I had already taken, and I was excited about having a whole course ahead of me.

I thank God for giving me the ability to soak up knowledge about Him, for the desire to do so, and for the opportunity He has placed before us. I'm so glad He brought me to Lakeview, with people like Pastor Mike and Jim who have the desire to teach those of who have the desire to learn.

Want to/have to?

Last night, in my first class of Church History, we were told that we have to memorize a Bible verse for one of the exams. I have always disliked memorization - "I like learning". I liked subjects in school like math, because if you "learn" how numbers work, then you never have to memorize a math topic later on in life.

When Jim, the teacher, made the comment that most people respond, "I can't remember a thing" when asked to memorize Scripture - but will memorize those things like song lyrics and such, I realized that I am like that too.

We memorize song lyrics to sing in the car with the radio
We memorize comments and tv show characters and discuss them the next day
We memorize the Hollywood stars, their children, and their new love interests' names
But when asked to memorize a Bible verse, or to memorize some theology terms - "I can't remember a thing"

Why do our brains automatically shut down when faced with the opportunity to learn those things about God, rather than the substance-lacking things in the world around us?

"Want to". That is what is missing.

We "want to" memorize lyrics to songs, because we "want to" sing.
We memorize funny commercials and tv show events, because we "want to" be entertained, or to entertain others.

Even songs at church can be memorized for bad reasons. We get so worried about how we sound to other people, that we forget to do all things for the glory of God. It seems impossible to get rid of the anxiety to do things "well", and to replace it with the desire to do them for God. He is pleased with any effort done in His name, and use of the talents he has loaned us for His glory. Anything done for any other reason is wasted, no matter how wonderful it may have sounded to everyone else's ears. It's amazing how easy things are to do when we get ourselves out of the way, and to do it for the right reasons; but Satan is always there trying to throw insecurity, or fear of failure in the way of praise for God. Everything God creates and gives, Satan tries to tear down.

There has to be a "want to" in order to learn more about God and to do more for God's glory. Scripture is God's means of revealing Himself to us, so shouldn't we "want to" have it memorized and part of our way of thinking?

It's funny that this came up again for me, because it's something I've been pondering on for several weeks now. While walking around checking to see which of the 3-5 year olds had memorized their Bible verse for the week on Wednesday nights, I realized that I was asking them to memorize something that I was walking around reading to see if they had it correct. What sort of example is that to motivate them to see the importance of memorizing Scripture? If I didn't see it as important enough to remember, why should they? So I posted the verses on my wall beside my door, so that I would pause for a few seconds each day in hopes to memorize the next verses with them.

Then, as I was reading in Matthew, when Jesus is tempted by the devil, I realized that every sinigle response that he gives Satan begins with: "It is written". Three times Jesus quoted from Scripture in response to Satan's attempts to make Him prideful and selfish and separate from the Father. Jesus simply let God's word stand on its own in argument with Satan, rather than trying to argue with Him on any other basis. And Satan gave up. Even Satan knew the futility of arguing with God's word; his temptation only works if we try to stand on our own to fight him. If Christ used God's word in order to resist the subtle temptations of Satan, why should we think we can do any better on our own?

And then how can we use God's word to resist Satan, if we do not know what it says? We have to have a "want to" glorify God - a "want to" know more about God - a desire for God Himself; not just His gifts and what He can do for us. A desire for knowledge of Him. The Bible is difficult to read sometimes; it can seem very difficult to understand. We shouldn't read it out of obligation; we shouldn't feel guilty for not reading it out of obligation. We should read it because of a desire to know more about God; only then is the "want to" enough to make us read prayerfully, and with the guidance and revelation of the Holy Spirit, understanding will come in time.

Lord, give me a "want to" and a desire for You, and for knowledge of you. Not just for the gifts you have given me and can give me, but for You yourself. Remove the desire to please anyone else but you, and for anything that is not done for Your glory.

Quotes sent to me by my dad

Life has taught me to forgive much, but to seek forgiveness still more.
-Otto Von Bismarck

Measure not God's love and favor by your own feelings. The sun shines as clearly in the darkest day as it does in the brightest.
-Richard Sibbes

A true love of God must begin with a delight in his holiness, and not with a delight in any other attribute; for no other attribute is truly lovely without this.
-Jonathan Edwards

I needed those today.

And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver - Malachi 3:3

And I will turn my hand upon thee, and purely purge away thy dross, and take away all thy tin
- Isaiah 1:25

Main Entry: dross
Function: noun
1 : the scum that forms on the surface of molten metal
2 : waste or foreign matter : impurity

I have a hard time reading the Old Testament; I seem to get lost in it because I don't understand the references. I had a fantastic theology and scripture discussion with my Papa last weekend, and I talked about that with him. He mentioned that understanding the historical background and context is essential to understanding the Old Testament. This is because many illustrations are lost on us today because we do not understand the language and meaning behind the phrases used to convey the larger ideas about God and His plan.

I started some reading in Isaiah today because it is referenced so much in the New Testament, and I figured it would be a good Old Testament book to start with because of that. That is when I found the verse at the top of the page.

I remember memorizing the definition of smelting in earth science, or one of those early science classes in school:

Main Entry: smelt
Function: verb
1 : to melt or fuse (as ore) often with an accompanying chemical change usually to separate the metal

That's really all I remember about the word, and it's a very clinical definition - but it brought out that we are in a purification process with God, so that was somewhat helpful.

I found that there are several instances in the Old Testament in which the process of refining, or purifying metals is used as a metaphor to explain how God purifies His people. Here is one from Malachi (in the title of this post):

...for he is like a refiner's fire, and like fullers' soap
And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver that they may offer unto the LORD an offering in righteousness.
- Mal 3:2-3

I figured that this analogy of God being like a refiner of metal must be pretty important since it is mentioned so many times, and that there must be more to it than just the obvious purification reference that I was understanding.

I like my Life Application study Bible because it has notes at the bottom of the page to sort of give you some of that historical context to help you understand the illustrations that may sometimes be lost on us today. My favorite part of the studying was when I read the note at the end of the page in Isaiah on the above verse:

1:25 (note): God promised to refine His people as metal is purged in a smelting pot.
This process involves melting the metal and skimming off the impure slag
until the worker can see his own image in the liquid metal

I researched the art of refining metal just a little more, and learned that the heating process must be done very carefully, because each impurity in the ore will melt and rise to the top at different temperatures. The refiner must sit patiently and skim the impurities out of the melted pool as they rise to the top. The process is finished when the final impurities are removed, and the refiner sees his own reflection in the pure silvery pool.

So what Papa said makes sense now. If I had just read through this verse with my own sense of understanding, I would have totally missed the poetry of this example. God sits over us, seeing the mixture of gold, silver, and all the impurities that we have mixed in along with it. He patiently sits over the refining pot, gradually testing us and "heating" us up to rid us of the impurities in our lives. Each trial and each blessing is a chance to overcome our pride; to overcome our desire to control life on our own; a chance to learn to praise Him in all storms and good times; a chance to finally lay it all in His hands. With each scoop of impurity we allow Him to remove, we become that much closer to reflecting more of Him as He looks down at us as His creation.