Want to/have to?

Last night, in my first class of Church History, we were told that we have to memorize a Bible verse for one of the exams. I have always disliked memorization - "I like learning". I liked subjects in school like math, because if you "learn" how numbers work, then you never have to memorize a math topic later on in life.

When Jim, the teacher, made the comment that most people respond, "I can't remember a thing" when asked to memorize Scripture - but will memorize those things like song lyrics and such, I realized that I am like that too.

We memorize song lyrics to sing in the car with the radio
We memorize comments and tv show characters and discuss them the next day
We memorize the Hollywood stars, their children, and their new love interests' names
But when asked to memorize a Bible verse, or to memorize some theology terms - "I can't remember a thing"

Why do our brains automatically shut down when faced with the opportunity to learn those things about God, rather than the substance-lacking things in the world around us?

"Want to". That is what is missing.

We "want to" memorize lyrics to songs, because we "want to" sing.
We memorize funny commercials and tv show events, because we "want to" be entertained, or to entertain others.

Even songs at church can be memorized for bad reasons. We get so worried about how we sound to other people, that we forget to do all things for the glory of God. It seems impossible to get rid of the anxiety to do things "well", and to replace it with the desire to do them for God. He is pleased with any effort done in His name, and use of the talents he has loaned us for His glory. Anything done for any other reason is wasted, no matter how wonderful it may have sounded to everyone else's ears. It's amazing how easy things are to do when we get ourselves out of the way, and to do it for the right reasons; but Satan is always there trying to throw insecurity, or fear of failure in the way of praise for God. Everything God creates and gives, Satan tries to tear down.

There has to be a "want to" in order to learn more about God and to do more for God's glory. Scripture is God's means of revealing Himself to us, so shouldn't we "want to" have it memorized and part of our way of thinking?

It's funny that this came up again for me, because it's something I've been pondering on for several weeks now. While walking around checking to see which of the 3-5 year olds had memorized their Bible verse for the week on Wednesday nights, I realized that I was asking them to memorize something that I was walking around reading to see if they had it correct. What sort of example is that to motivate them to see the importance of memorizing Scripture? If I didn't see it as important enough to remember, why should they? So I posted the verses on my wall beside my door, so that I would pause for a few seconds each day in hopes to memorize the next verses with them.

Then, as I was reading in Matthew, when Jesus is tempted by the devil, I realized that every sinigle response that he gives Satan begins with: "It is written". Three times Jesus quoted from Scripture in response to Satan's attempts to make Him prideful and selfish and separate from the Father. Jesus simply let God's word stand on its own in argument with Satan, rather than trying to argue with Him on any other basis. And Satan gave up. Even Satan knew the futility of arguing with God's word; his temptation only works if we try to stand on our own to fight him. If Christ used God's word in order to resist the subtle temptations of Satan, why should we think we can do any better on our own?

And then how can we use God's word to resist Satan, if we do not know what it says? We have to have a "want to" glorify God - a "want to" know more about God - a desire for God Himself; not just His gifts and what He can do for us. A desire for knowledge of Him. The Bible is difficult to read sometimes; it can seem very difficult to understand. We shouldn't read it out of obligation; we shouldn't feel guilty for not reading it out of obligation. We should read it because of a desire to know more about God; only then is the "want to" enough to make us read prayerfully, and with the guidance and revelation of the Holy Spirit, understanding will come in time.

Lord, give me a "want to" and a desire for You, and for knowledge of you. Not just for the gifts you have given me and can give me, but for You yourself. Remove the desire to please anyone else but you, and for anything that is not done for Your glory.