JCSM

A friend subscribed me to an e-mail newsletter called JCSM (Jesus Christ Saves Ministries - Pastor Jason Gastrich) years ago - I always try to get around to reading it when I get it, because it starts with some verses, then has insight, and comes with a specific prayer (read, understand, and apply to our lives).

I really liked this one, because I'm grateful that God woke me up when He did; before my wake-up call got any worse.

I hope everyone has/had a wonderful Christmas - God has really blessed me with so many wonderful people in my life, and I'm just so grateful I know and feel what Christmas is really about this year - the gift of a Savior.



"Wake Up Before Your Wake-Up Call"

Joshua 24:14, 15 "Now therefore, fear the LORD, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the LORD! And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

Proverb 7:24, 25 "Now therefore, listen to me, my children; Pay attention to the words of my mouth: Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths;"
John 8:42, 43 "Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and came from God; nor have I come of Myself, but He sent Me. Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word."

Acts 3:19 "Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord."

Insight: If obeying God and cultivating your relationship with Him isn't the most important thing in your life, then you're heading for a wake-up call. He will likely remove whatever is in His place. Decide now who you will follow and submit to God's will.
Choose to follow Him and you'll be blessed and able to order your priorities correctly.

Prayer:
"Dear Lord, bless us and make us like You. Help each reader to rededicate his or her life to You. Thank you for being worthy of our praise and devotion. Let us understand how following You will bless You, bless us, and bless others. Help us to prioritize things correctly. Help us to cultivate our personal relationship with You. Thank you for being patient, merciful, loving, and kind. There is no other like You! In Jesus' name, Amen."

(visit http://jcsm.org/ and subscribe to the e-mail! All information in italics was taken from the JCSM devotional e-mail newsletter)

Contentment

As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler (shield) to all those that trust in him.
Psalm 18:30

This was the verse for December 3rd in Grace for the Moment. The title of the devotion was "The Cure for Disappointment". It is so easy for us to feel disappointed with things in life, but why - when we know that His will is perfect?
He is in control, and all things happen under God's divine providence.

I like how Max Lucado put it in the devotional: "Remember, disappointment is cured by revamped expectations".
I want to learn to grade life not by my expectations, but rather with the knowledge that He is in control.
My finite human mind cannot possibly comprehend how His perfect plan will unfold, and disappointment occurs because we put too much stock in our own plans of how life should go.

This devotional went right along with one of my favorite Wednesday night Lakeview sermons that I recently listened to on CD. Regarding Paul's instruction on how to maintain joy, Pastor Mike gave a message on contentment.

Soon after listening to that sermon, I heard another message on the radio along the same lines. I think God was tapping me on the shoulder again...
sermon on contentment
devotional on contentment
radio sermon on contentment

Hmmm... maybe contentment is something I need to be thinking, reading, and writing about? So it has been, and it is really making a difference in my life when I keep these things in my head.

(the verses in Pastor Mike's sermon)

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned,
in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
I know both how to be abased (brought low, humbled),
and I know how to abound (be in excess): every where
and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be
hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
Philippians 4:11-12

We are bombarded with every means of discontentment possible in the world. We're told we need this and need that in order to be happy.
My favorite point in the sermon was that television is just a means of promoting new discontentment - it's not even about the actual programs, it's just a means of getting people in front of the television for the commercials. Even most shows are commercials in themselves these days.

We're constantly told what we need in order to be happy; but those wordly guidelines are insatiable. They will never end. Once you have that gadget, you'll want this one next - once you have that, there will be something else you just have to have.

Wordly satisfaction is unattainable; they always leave you wanting more. We try to fill that empty feeling in our lives with stuff, but it just leaves us with cluttered spaces, empty pockets, and empty hearts.

The only contentment that is lasting, through good times as well as bad times, is the joy and gratefulness for what has already been given to us by God through Christ.

If I am content in life because I am a child of God who will someday live with Him eternally, then I can never be disappointed with what I don't have on earth.

Paul was in jail when he wrote the Philippians on contentment.

Shouldn't I, sitting in a warm house on a cold December morning with my books and gadgets and possessions surrounding me, be more than content with life? I am saved by grace, and that is enough for which to be eternally grateful - but He has given me many, many blessings in excess of that.

Thank you Lord for your blessings; even the ones we don't realize we have and the ones we forget to be thankful for.

Help me remember that You drew me near by using the disappointments I caused myself by expecting the world to create my happiness.

Everything other than God will always leave us disappointed in the end. People will always disappoint us at some time or another, gadgets will always be outdated, and superficial desires always leave us satisfied only on the surface.

Lord, help me revamp my expectations. Help me recognize needs, and separate them from wants. Help me derive my joy only from you, because that is the only joy that is not fleeting in this world.

Be thankful, for longsuffering

Longsuffering
Greek: makrothumeo
- to be patient, to bear with; lit., to be long-tempered


I listened to a podcast by John Piper today - "The God of Peace Will Soon Crush Satan Under Your Feet", from November 12, 2006. The text is Romans 16:17-20.

The reference from 2 Peter at the very end of his sermon is what really blessed me this morning, because I had a wonderful conversation yesterday with someone I've missed. We talked about something that has really been on my mind lately - and it's just funny how many times it has come up with several different people since it first entered my mind. It's like God is just tapping me on the shoulder every time it comes up, reminding me to be thankful for illumination/realization from Him.

It's that danger I've been thinking about - about walking through life with a false sense of security from the age of 7, thinking I was saved and still living however I wanted to. Feeling no change of heart; still not having a love for the things of God; "believing" but not having faith. I'll never be perfect, I'll always be sinful, and I'll never measure up to anything close to what Christ is; but the desire to try, and the humility that the difficulty of it brings is the evidence of true salvation.

It was something I was very ashamed of admitting to anyone - family or anyone in church. However, during the semester of Faith/visitation this year, someone else finally admitted out loud what I had been coming to realize since that first time I went back to church after moving home. Since then, I have been a part of two more conversations where someone else admitted the very same thing - they were "saved" as a young child, but only later on in life did they really come to know and love Jesus Christ as their savior.

It scares me how I drifted along thinking I was close to God and didn't realize how far away I was because of bad theology - or an assumption of what eternal security really means. I told Eddie yesterday, I'm lucky nothing happened in between age 7 and 26 - and he said himself he is thankful he was spared from that wreck he had a few years ago, when a telephone pole was the only thing keeping his car from going over the edge of a hill.

That's why the reference to 2 Peter in John Piper's message meant so much to me this morning.


3:3 Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts,
3:4 And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation.


3:8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

As soon as I read that last line, I had to read it over again.

Longsuffering
not willing that any should perish
but that all would come to repentance

Thank you Lord for being patient with me from 7 to 26. Thank you for being patient with me from 26 on.

Today, I am thankful for a God who is longsuffering toward us. I am thankful for a patient God, and a God who guides us through experience and taps us on the shoulder with conversations with people that He gives us as blessings.

I am thankful that He, even in His perfection, is patient with our unceasing imperfection.

I am thankful that He has given me the ability to find happiness in Him.

It's funny...

How God reiterates things just to make sure we got the point. I came up with my title to this page some time ago. It was a verse out of a chapter with a story that really hit me hard and true. Today my Uncle Joe taught out of that chapter this morning during Sunday school, and it just got him and it got me. It reminded me how grateful and thankful we should be for the mercy we've been shown, and about how faith and belief can be very different things. The Pharisee in the chapter was a religious believer, but had belief without emotion and gratefulness. The woman was the worst kind of sinner in the eyes of the Pharisee, but her faith and unashamed illustration of her faith and gratefulness allowed Jesus to say, "Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace."

Then the choir this morning sang the song I posted about on my last post. Thank you Lord for your blessings on me.

Then Pastor Mike taught out of Psalm 100 on being Thankful to God and for God.

It's so easy to feel like you've reached an epiphany one day, and forget where you were on the next. Thank you Lord for sending me constant reminders of the blessings you open my eyes to; we forget all too easily without constant prodding.

And a fine family...

The world looks around me as I struggle along
They say I have nothing, but they are so wrong.
In my heart I'm rejoicing, how I wish they could see
Thank You, Lord, for Your blessings on me.

There's a roof up above me, I've a good place to sleep.
There's food on my table, and shoes on my feet.
You gave me Your love, Lord, and a fine family.
Thank you, Lord, for Your blessings on me.

I know I'm not wealthy and these clothes are not new,
I don't have much money, but Lord, I have You,
And to me
You're all that matters tho' the world may not see.
Thank you, Lord, for Your blessings on me.

My Granny had this song handwritten in a little spiral notebook with many of her other favorite songs to sing. She taught it to me and I remember the tune from childhood - I guess she really was the one who taught me to be thankful for things, and to respect my elders and try to watch out for and take care of other people.

I've heard this song a couple of times since then. It was played on the organ at her funeral, and it was a song that my Dad picked out for the youth choir to sing not too long ago in church. I don't even know if he knew that was a song she had taught me, but it was bittersweet to hear the little kids singing it like I sang it with her in her house years ago.

Last week I was baptized, and I looked out from the front of the church out onto many of my family and friends. It hit me how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family - it has gradually dawned on me in the past few years, and very much so lately.

I focused for a long time on how much I regretted not being here for so many years, and not spending enough time with my Granny before she passed away. For the last few years of her life I spent more time thinking about how I really needed to get home to see her, than I actually spent with her. It was too late when I actually did move home to spend time with my family, and I got caught up in regretting that for a long time once I moved back.

A month or so ago, my Papa got up and sang a song at church, even though he said he hadn't been feeling like he'd be able. Tears streamed down my face as I looked up there and listened to him sing - and saw the joy he had to be up there singing and praising God.
I looked up and thought - I'm a part of this, and he's a part of me.

The past two Fridays I drove over to see Grandma and Papa and stayed for about three hours. Just sitting and talking. No television noise in the background, no distractions. We talked about his doctor visits, we talked about church, and he talked to me about my theology classes. I love to hear him discuss the Bible because he has read and studied the history behind he Bible and numerous commentaries - and even at his age he remembers it all. It's amazing how much knowledge he has about the Bible - and how much he enjoys sharing it. These past two Friday nights have been such a blessing to me, and I left smiling and feeling loved and loving their company.

For almost 27 years now, I've had this wonderful family and plenty of time to enjoy it - and I was always distracted and not spending enough time where I should have been.

It's funny how simple happiness is when we get the distractions out of the way.

Thank you Lord for letting me appreciate the present this time, rather than looking back at the past with regret. Help me continue to do so.

Outside the box...

I have three thoughts I've jotted down today that I wanted to put on here, however haphazard it may end up:

1. Don't compartmentalize God
2. Quote from Spurgeon about what we take in and think about
3. Don't just long for situations to change

Now I will attempt to put them all together into a somewhat coherent thought.


A quote Pastor Mike shared in a recent Wednesday night sermon I listened to in my car this morning on the way to work:

A person cannot expect to entertain Jesus in the parlor of their hearts with Satan in the cellar. -Charles Spurgeon.


What we allow into our minds day in and day out affects what comes into our heart and out of our mouths during reaction time. I'd heard this before, but lately... it actually means something to me. Surrounding and submersing myself - reading, studying, hearing, playing, and listening - it makes a difference in the thoughts I have throughout the day.

His message dealt with stability - and how stability can only come when we rejoice in the Lord throughout the day - constantly. Only then can we rejoice in Him when the bad times come - instead of asking "why" and "how will I get through this".

We so often only pray when bad things are happening - instead of having an ongoing communication with Him. Continuous conversation - waking up with thanks, asking Him to be with us throughout the day, starting the car and asking Him to help us safely get to work, asking for patience with people throughout the day - asking for constant daily guidance.

Don't compartmentalize God. I know that I do this. Before I got back into church and experienced the changes I had, I wanted everyone around me to compartmentalize God as well. Like he said in the sermon - we try to put God in allotted times - Sunday morning, then maybe Sunday night, maybe even Wednesday night - and maybe even before a meal. Even then, usually not before a meal in a restaurant, or a meal in the breakroom at work.

If we really and truly believe what we say - that God is everywhere all the time - why do we try to only "pay attention" or "talk" to Him at those allotted times?

He is everything - and if we truly believe that we are His creation, created for His glory... then shouldn't every minute be devoted to Him in at least some way?
I have been trying to work on this... waking up before the alarm goes off in the morning, and thanking God upon waking for another day (and for not having to hear that alarm clock).

I am not a cheerful morning person, but as I progress in the stages of waking in the shower, and while getting ready for work - I try to continue my constant dialogue with God:

Give me patience today Lord to deal with the things that will come at me
Give me the strength and courage to share you more with others throughout the day
Keep us all safe on our way to work this morning

I read my daily devotional that Aunt Shirley let me borrow. I tend to rush in the mornings, because the sooner I get in the sooner I get out of work, but I've made myself take the time to read the daily passage in the morning before I leave.

As I get in the car I pray for help with my tendency toward road rage - anger does no one any good, and I experience a lot of impatience when behind the wheel of a car.

I've been listening to some of the Wednesday night sermons this week that I've been missing since I work with the kids on Wednesday nights - and one sermon is usually just enough time for me to pull out of the driveway at home, and into the parking lot at work.
Those give me things to think on while I'm at work. Instead of being frustrated when I'm feeling unmotivated, I try to get into more of a meditative mode and think on the things I've read and heard. Through the day I try to keep up that dialogue.

It's hard to feel alone at any part of the day when you've been constantly talking to God. It's hard to feel like everything is going wrong when you really have faith that He is in control, and that His way and will are best even when our finite human minds can't understand the present. The idea of Providence can really give peace of mind.

We often want to pray for situations to change - we often get frustrated when things don't go our way. I know I do - that's something I've been trying really hard to work on for a while now. Maybe we should instead just pray for a change in our ability to handle those situations, or to change our ability to understand and deal with those situations, and for the ability to hand it all over and trust God.

So many phrases we just say all the time and really lose the meaning of the words.

Trust.

Pronunciation: 'tr&st
Function: noun
1. assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
2. dependence on something future or contingent
3. a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship
4. something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another

You have to have faith that someone is competent of taking care of you in order to trust. Why is it so hard for us to relinquish control to an eternal, all powerful righteous God. Do we really trust ourselves with the problems more?

Faith is what it is all about... our worries, our frustrations, our disappointments.

If we truly have faith, those things can slowly melt away, but for some reason it is very hard for us to give up the negative feelings we think we want to get away from.


Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5

To identify

G911
βάπτω - baptō - bap'-to
A primary verb; to whelm, that is, cover wholly with a fluid

G907 "baptize"
βαπτίζω - baptizō - bap-tid'-zo
From a derivative of G911; to make whelmed (that is, fully wet); used only (in the New Testament) of ceremonial ablution, especially (technically) of the ordinance of Christian baptism: - baptist,


Romans Chapter 6

1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
2 God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
3 Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
5 For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:
6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.
8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:


1. Through baptism we identify with Christ, as it is a symbol of the death, burial, and resurrection
2. Jesus Christ himself asked to be baptized by John the Baptist, to show his identification with the sign of repentance - though he had no sins to repent of.
3. Baptism is a means of publicly announcing that we identify with Christ, and that we are turning away from our old selves and toward Christ

I raised my hand at the age of seven in a small old broken down house that my grandmother and a few others had started a church in. Almost 20 years ago, I raised my hand with eyes closed when he asked if there was anyone there who hadn't given their heart to Jesus and asked him to save their soul. I do believe that moment was important in my life, I do believe that being raised with my grandparents and family who were so religious played a large part in my always believing in God. But I have learned over the past year, that believing in and having true faith in God and His son are very different things. There is believing in your head, and then there is believing in your heart - and the latter creates change.

I believe I was saved a long time ago - God has saved me from myself many times. But I think there is a danger in the simplicity of the invitationals at the end of sermons - I believe there is a danger in growing up believing that you always believed in God that gets you to heaven and lets you escape from Hell. I think that it makes it too easy to escape true salvation - makes it too easy to miss the gift of true repentance, which results in real changes in your heart and mind and life. I was confused the first time I went back to church for the first time, shortly after I moved back home. The music and the sermon - everything just spoke to me that day, and at the end of the sermon I walked up to the altar and cried. At the end of the service, Pastor Mike walked up to me and said, "Did you get saved today?" I left the church feeling overwhelmed and confused - I'd been saved since I was seven... so what happened that day?

I got caught up in confusion and distractions, and didn't go back to church for almost a year. Some things changed in my life and all of a sudden I felt like I was at the lowest point I could possibly reach - I had set the wrong priorities in my life and couldn't seem to shake a constant feeling of disappointment, anger, and bitterness toward life in general. I finally got myself back in church, and over the past year God has used Pastor Mike and everyone around me to teach me where I was and was not for the past 20 years.

I'm glad He has given me something I can feel. I'm glad he's made changes that I never thought were possible, seem much easier when I'm not trying to be in control. I'm glad He gave me the chance to publicly and privately identify with Him. I'm glad I got baptized today. It has felt like something I should do for a while, and I just had a feeling of peace and - identification with the Savior today.

Pastor Mike said the other night in theology class that he thinks the number one thing that we as Christians are supposed to do is to enjoy God and the things He gave us. Above witnessing, worship, and everything else. We all sat there because on our list we had almost all put that last - because we felt that was one of the more selfish things on the list. We put worship, and helping others, and all the others as more important.

But he explained - if we don't enjoy God, we won't do any of those other things for His glory. And any other reason is not the right one, and makes it works for works only.

I'm glad He's teaching me to enjoy Him.

Lay aside every weight... and let us run with patience

The daily devotion (Grace for the Moment) quoted Hebrews 12:1 for today, so I ended up reading the whole chapter. It talks about the Christian race, and gives us guidance on how and why to run it.

It gives us the Method to beginning and being successful during the race

A. Set aside the sin that easily besets (1. To attack from all sides. 2. To trouble persistently)us
B. Run the race with patience


It gives us Motivation to keep running

A. Inspiration - Look to Jesus, who both created and finished the race.
- How can we be weary in the face of what he endured such contradiction of sinners against himself (v.3)
- for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame (v.2)
Joy and enduring in the same sentence. If he could find joy in His physically and spiritually demanding sacrifice, how easy should it be for us to face the small trials and temptations here that we face?
B. The goal - He endured, and it pleased God and He was set back to be in God's presence


It gives us the Means that God provides to teach us throughout the race

A. Discipline
- v. 11 - now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised [trained] thereby

- self-discipline guided by God's word is something I've found very difficult. There
are so many things I've grown to desire that the Bible tells us is wrong. There are so
many split second emotions that seem impossible to control, that the Bible reminds
us are not Christian reactions.

It is hard to have someone else tell us what is wrong and what we shouldn't do,
especially when we feel a strong desire, or a lack of control for whatever it may be. I
have found however, that when I give up or change those things because I feel
guided to, and not just because someone said so, there is a peace and a change in my
desire that eventually settles in.
Instead of giving up something, you've gained a sense of peace and accomplishment
for God's glory and growth toward Him.

Then I realize that is was God within me making the changes, and there is a sense of
peace and relief to realize I am not in control, and that He is present - and it makes
it a lot easier to hand it all over to Him when I realize He was in control in the first
place.

B. Repentance - Pastor Mike did a whole series on repentance, and it really gave me a lot to think about and to grow on spiritually. Being saved is not just about saying some words,
reading some verses, and claiming to be saved.

Repentance, defined (thanks to Wikipedia)

In Biblical Hebrew, the idea of repentance is represented by two verbs: שוב
shuv (to return) and נחם nicham (to feel sorrow).

In the New Testament, the word translated as 'repentance' is the Greek word
μετάνοια (metanoia), "after/behind one's mind", which is a compound word of
the preposition 'meta' (after, with), and the verb 'noeo' (to perceive, to think,
the result of perceiving or observing).
In this compound word the preposition combines the two meanings of time
and change, which may be denoted by 'after' and 'different'; so that the whole
compound means: 'to think differently after'.
Metanoia is therefore primarily an after-thought,
different from the former thought; a change of mind accompanied by regret
and change of conduct, "change of mind and heart", or, "change of
consciousness".

Repentance is a gift from God upon true salvation, and it results in a visible and real change
in a person. There were many times I cried for mercy from God, asked God to change me.
I believed I was saved since the age of 7 because I had read some verses with a
preacher when I raised my hand in response to "is there anyone here today who has never been saved?". I don't think that there was not a reason I raised my hand that day, and I do believe it had God in it - but I think that sometimes it is dangerous to have a hand raised when the mind doesn't fully comprehend, or when it is just in response of "I don't want to go to Hell".

Through life, I justified my actions by negating how important certain words were to our
times today, but it was a change from within that really showed me right and wrong.
It takes a desire from within to make it easy to change - changing the outside before the
inside just seems difficult and makes us defensive and apprehensive of church and all the
things of God - and works are nothing without meaning behind them.

I am thankful that Jesus was willing to be our mediator (v.24), and thankful for the Word that God gave us to show his example, and pray for the guidance to live by that example.

Time to hear...

A quote that stood out in God Came Near:

(Regarding the birth of Jesus, and how God sent angels to simple shepherds about such a magnificent ordeal)

God goes to those who have time to hear Him

"In what ways do you hear God? How often do you set aside time just to listen to Him? When does God have your ear?"


Luke 2:9-20
"Note the response of the shepherds"

1. They trusted and believed the message - "went together"
2. They obeyed the command to seek Him out - "with haste"
3. They stopped and admired him - "awe"
4. They left lifting up His name and sharing the news - "praising and glorifying God"

Why is it so hard for us to trust, obey, admire, and praise Him on blind faith? We say the words, but have such a hard time walking the path.

"Those who missed Jesus' birth were simply not looking, or were just too busy". It's so easy to be too busy...

Just a quote I like, from Dad

When we are at peace, we find the freedom to be most fully who we are, even in the worst of times…We empty ourselves so that God may more fully work within us.

-Joseph Cardinal Benardin

Every day is a choice...

I just recently borrowed a few books from my Aunt Shirley, and one of them is Grace for the Moment by Max Lucado. It is a collection of devotionals for each day of the year, and I started it today - and the introduction just really spoke to me. I'm going to copy it here at the bottom, because I want it to be something that everyone who knows me reads - I think I would like to have it posted on my wall near my bed so that I could read it and remember what it says every day before I face the world.

We always say that God is in everything, that He is in control, and that He provides everything we need. We say those things, but why do we have such a hard time behaving in such a way that shows we truly have faith in those things?

I do and think and talk about a lot of things I shouldn't be doing, and thinking, and talking about if I truly have faith in the fact that God is in control. It is so easy for us all to complain about every little thing in our lives. It's so easy to get angry at other people or other situations. It is so easy to become accustomed so accustomed to extras, that we begin to believe that what we want is what we need, and that what we need is unnecessary.

This past Sunday, I decided to make another attempt at quitting smoking. It is something I really want to do, for many reasons. I obviously do not like what it does to my body, I do not like smelling like that around other people, and I know that there are some people around me who worry about me a lot. Sunday, I finally got in my head the real reason that I should be quitting, which is also the real motivation that I should be using to guide me through the difficult process.

Sunday night on my way home from church, I did not stop by the store to purchase a supply for the next day. Instead I prayed, not just for help quitting smoking, but for specific things behind my sense of "need" for something I just wanted. I prayed for patience, and strength to ignore the withdrawal. I prayed to no longer be satisfied with, or to crave, that artificial sense of "ok", and to instead seek out a true sense of peace only He can give.

Instead of seeing quitting as a loss of something I enjoy, I'm trying to see that giving up something for God is more gain than any worldly loss we can endure.

Instead of focusing on that fear of not having my security blanket in a box for the next day, I'm trying to remind myself that I've been relying on a simple drug more than I've relied on God to get me through those times that strain my patience, nerves, and tears.

I am praying that He will strengthen my faith enough to rely only on Him, because it is such a peaceful feeling to depend on Him only.

I am praying that He will open my heart to see and believe that His hand is in everything, and to help me be thankful for even those things I do not understand and would otherwise complain about.

I am thanking Him for the horrible cold I have had this past week, because it hit me right at the hardest time of the first week of quitting. Why? Because even the times that failure might have crossed my mind - realizing that I already could not breathe was such a great addiction de-motivator.

Thank you Lord for even the things that we don't realize we should be thankful for. Thank you for guiding me and helping me through this week, and every day. Help me continue to see your hand in it all.

Here is the devotion that helped me today:

Each Day I Choose
By Max Lucado

It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming. In a few moments, the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.

I CHOOSE LOVE…

No occasion justifies hatred;
no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY…

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical…
the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see
people as anything less than human beings,
created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as
anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE…

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE…

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll
invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the
wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment
to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new
assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS…

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to
the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS…

I will go without a dollar
before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked
before I will boast. I will confess before I will
accuse. I choose goodness.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS…

Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates
will not question my word. My wife will not
question my love. And my children will never fear
that their father will not come home.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS…

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL...

I am a spiritual being…
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal.
I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow
and rest.

Max Lucado quote is from his book When God Whispers Your Name

The command to be happy...

Our church has a group called FAITH - a sort of visitation "class", where you learn different techniques of witnessing and sharing the gospel with others. I decided to participate in this class because I just felt drawn to it after hearing dad talk about it last year - and I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say to others in those situations, and I figure it's something we can all stand to get better at.

Anyway - the sort of "method" that we're going through starts out with the statement that God commands us to be happy, and the pamphlet quotes the verse

"Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
- Psalm 37:10

Which happened to be the chapter in Psalm that I started reading tonight, so when I saw and recognized the verse, I realized how appropriate it is to how I've been feeling the past few days - and several other people have been as well it seems...

It's so easy to just hear sermons and do what you think you're supposed to be doing... but there's something different lately... there's a change that I feel like is happening in me... I'm doing these things and I'm wanting to do them, with a deep down desire to do them... I'm not quite sure how to explain it, because it's not like I didn't want to do the things I have already been doing... but maybe it's more that... I'm getting joy from doing those things and more that I haven't quite felt before...

So this verse really hit home tonight, because if you break it down into the two parts

"Delight thyself also in the Lord"

Too often, (in our "dead state" as Pastor Mike called it yesterday) people see living a Christian life as... difficult, and burdensome - it is very hard for we humans to do the right things. But like he said tonight, if Bill Gates called you up and offered you a million dollars - would you turn the money offer down saying "oh no, that would leave me obligated to thank him".

Why is it so easy for us to scoff and see that as ridiculous, when we have turned down God's offer of salvation and grace so many times because "it's too hard being obligated to thank Him by living right". God's gift to us is much more precious and undeserved by us than any amount of money in the world, and yet we find it so difficult to be "obligated to thank Him".

"and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

This one is also hard for us to understand - because when we look at our "desires", we too often see: money, wealth, fame/power, material things, and other things we take pleasure in here. But... when I manage to get away from those desires, at least for a little while... and start taking pleasure in the things of God... it's almost as if it is saying that He gives you... new desires

Just like the things I've been doing that I used to look at my parents doing and think - how can they stand giving up so much of their time? And now, I just feel blessed that God has given me the strength to do them... I sit and laugh with the people I used to be so scared would just sit in judgement of me if I attended church... I feel a connection with everyone and I want to share in everyone's experience when they get back on Monday nights... I want to visit with all of them to see how they approach our responsibility of sharing God's Word...

I'm glad that God commands us to be happy... and gives us the ability to truly be happy if we just search for it in conjunction with bringing glory to His name. There is no true happiness in glorifying ourselves - and it's funny how simple that all is when it happens, and how distant an idea it seems when we fall behind and start focusing on the wrong things again.

Hopefully I'm setting up reminders for myself here... and I keep praying that we will all just remember what we need to keep first and foremost in our minds and hearts... and learn to reach that happiness that living for His glory and honor only can bring.

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed."
-Psalm 37:10

Put me where you want me Lord

Not unto us, O LORD, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth's sake.
-Psalm 115:1


I don't even know how to start putting into words how blessed I've felt the past couple of weeks... but I want to put something down here, because I am just amazed at how God has just blessed my heart.

He has given me opportunities I never thought I would have... he's given me musical talents that I have always loved having, but there are no words to describe the feeling it is to have when you just lay yourself down and realize that you are just a vessel for Him to use to bless others. It's so easy to get nervous walking up there to play - worrying about how it sounds to everyone else - but when I sit back and watch and listen to everyone else and feel so blessed by the words and the music coming out at me... and to see people moved by the music God gives us.

I just sit in awe this morning right now, realizing how happy it makes me when get myself out of the way and just let God put me where he wants me -

Put me where you want me Lord
Where I belong
Lord help me stay in the center of thy Will
and when I reach the lowest valley I can climb the highest hill

It's so easy for me to get caught up in seeing the valleys I think are around me
And it's so easy to think you're just too busy to do the things for the Lord
I used to sit and watch my parents doing so many things at church, and rushing around to get things done, and wonder how they kept it up.
And last week was one of the busiest weeks I've had myself - practice, visitation, working with the children on Wednesday, and there were times when I got caught up in worrying whether I'd have time to get it all done

But yesterday I had some time alone before we played, after all the practicing and worrying about the details and rushing around all week - and I really heard the words of "Nothing Can Touch Me" - and none of those details mattered anymore - and everything I had done all week just turned right back around and caught my breath and something just grabbed me

It's so easy to look at it at things as our own achievements, or our own good deeds - oh I did this, I got involved in this, and this is what I did.
Good deeds are the fruits of salvation - but the real blessing that I've discovered in doing things for the Lord, is realizing that anything you do for Him is actually not of your own doing at all, and that it's only by His action upon us and from within us that accomplishes the things of His will.

Our good deeds and blessing others are simply the act of God's hand moving right through us, and when you feel him doing that with yourself, and see him doing that through others it's just like seeing the actual Hand of God right there in front of you...

When I got to sit down and listen to them last night, and when I was able to walk up there and play - and had prayed all day for God to help me keep in mind that it was all in His name and for His glory, and not to let frustration and nerves get in the way... I feel like we all felt His presence right in the middle of that church... and to feel how it just grabs you when He shows up... to see the tears well up in their eyes on stage... when one of us really hears those words we've been practicing over and over... and the mercy and power and grace of God is really understood and felt in a tangible and present way - it all happened last night, but it hit me again this morning, and throughout the day... it's just a feeling of wonder and awe and gratefulness for His power and all he blesses us with. I have been truly blessed with the opportunities He has provided and led me to - and I want to keep this feeling of thankfulness and wonder fresh... so when I forget and get caught up in what problems I think I have - I can remember how truly blessed I am.

I think that Nikki said it best last night with the happiest smile after the singing was over, so I'll sum this up with that and hope she doesn't mind my sharing:
"I feel like I just wanna be saved all over again after a night like this"

Thank you Lord for your blessings on me.
Help me to continue to see them and not get caught up in the problems this world gives us.

Put me where you want me
Where I belong

Thank you for letting me feel like I belong to you.

It is well...

Behold for peace I had great bitterness:
but thou hast in love to my soul delivered it
from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast
all my sins behind thy back.
- Isa 38:17

I recently had a discussion with my best friend and fellow church attendee, about how different the church we're at now is than the ones we've been in before. People are more visibly and audibly moved in this church - there are frequent altar calls, and it's just a different atmosphere than anything we've experienced before. We're used to a church where the preacher was loud, but the audience was just that - an audience - and rarely was any emotion shown from the pews.

I struggled with this when I first started attending as well - it is just foreign to us as people today, to let other people see when we're moved in a spiritual way.

I myself had said many times when I was struggling with Church in general - I hadn't gone in a long time, and I said that I was just a private person and that I wanted that private study time - personal time to study the Word of God and to talk with God. I didn't like having to be in a large group of people for that sort of thing.

And so many people hold that idea - even those who go to Church. We feel like we shouldn't smile, or say a word, or get excited about a sermon or the Word of God. Is it fear of what other people think? Is it just that it's so foreign because the world today teaches us to be reserved, to not show positive emotion - is it Satan, or our sinful human nature, making it difficult for us to show the rest of the world that we're excited about the message of Christ, because it might make other people excited too by our example?

When I first moved back home, I looked at my parents and at how vocal and visibly excited they were about the sermons they'd heard. I noticed a change in their everyday life over time - more prayer time, more emotion seen when they walked in the door from Church. And honestly, it sort of scared me - and some days I just thought they were a little extreme. The first time I went to Church with them, for the first time in years - I myself got very emotional. Something just grabbed hold of me and I couldn't stop the tears rolling down my face. And that scared me too - I didn't go back for months. I "wanted to sleep late", I had "other plans" - really, I think I was just scared.

I was afraid of being that emotional all of the time, I was scared of the people in the pews who weren't emotional seeing it and what they would think - I was scared of being that out of control and not really knowing why. It just felt so foreign not being able to hold back those emotions, because I have always been a person who doesn't like to show emotion to other people. I don't like people to know when I'm mad, sad, excited - I've always been so reserved. And my parents had as well, so it was just foreign and strange to me to see both of them so emotional about church.

I've been going to Lakeview for about 5 or 6 months now - regularly. Wednesday, Sunday morning, Sunday evening. I got hooked on pastor Mike's messages. He gives a sermon like a teacher - he really gets his point across well, and he makes sure he stays strictly Biblical - you're not just getting his opinion on a few words during that sermon. At first I was looking at it from too much of an academic perspective. I was still keeping all of the emotion out of it - nodding my head when I agreed sometimes, but still holding a lot back to keep that control in check. Then his sermons seemed to turn to that very thing. How we need to get excited about God, and about the Bible because it is the Word of God. How we should be excited about learning more about God and growing in our own spirituality.

Yesterday he talked about how it is a daily fight to maintain our faith, and a fight to further our faith - we have to fight daily in order to remain where we are spiritually, against the current of the world - but also, the point is not just to keep your head above the water by maintaining, but to make progress against the current by growing further than that maintained state as well. He also talked about the fact that as church members - we have a group of people around us who are fighting - right along side us, and how we should all encourage one another because it is such a difficult fight, and that without a support group (which is what a church should be to itself) it's entirely too easy to just give up the fight, and swim with the current and lose all the spiritual growth God has helped us attain and maintain, making the next fight that much more difficult.

Our position as Christians - or our responsibility as Christians, is to share the message of Jesus Christ. And in today's world, we're so scared to do that. In theology class we've studied about how this is a Postmodern time - postmodern people believe that there is no absolute truth. They've allowed themselves to become so distant from emotion and the truth - that they deny all existence of it. And it's sad to see that even those of us who do believe, those of us who are in Church, are so immersed in that society, and even when we're moved inside - we're still too afraid for whatever reason to let it show, to let it be known - even to ourselves.

How can we influence the world around us if they don't see any signs of happiness for the truth we have? If we can't even show it to the Christians surrounding us on the pews in our own church, how can we ever expect to make a difference in the hateful and unyielding world around us? How do we get past this fear of showing emotion - how do we stop ourselves from being so stubborn to the joy and emotion that the knowledge of Christ can bring?

How do we convince ourselves how insulting it is to Christ not to overcome that restraint the world puts on us, even after His suffering should make us ever grateful in ways that we shouldn't be ABLE to hide - no matter how hard we try?

We all watched and talked about the movie "The Passion of the Christ". Should it really only be Him who was passionate about that sacrifice and love? How can we be so cold and distant to the fact that we've received a most awesome and unexplainable sacrifice from an unfathomable source of LOVE - that was and is absolutely undeserved on our part.

Is that not something to be excited and grateful - and visibly so - about? Why do I - and so many other people have such a hard time letting this show to the world? Are we scared of their opinion - are we scared of our own loss of control if we allow ourselves to truly be happy about something?

I'm praying now for my own ability to let go of that restraint - to be ok with showing the rest of the world that I'm excited about God, and that I'm eternally grateful for the sacrifice and immense love and mercy given to us. I still feel the hardness of the world in my heart way too often. It allows me to become bitter and hard toward other people, that I should love in remembrance of God's love for us.

We should pray and strive to be better examples for the world. To illustrate his forgiveness, to illustrate his unconditional love - despite our undeservedness and sinfulness as humans. We should pray that we will allow ourselves to feel this happiness, because until we learn to depend only on God and the happiness he allows us, we'll never be happy depending on the things and people of the world.

I am challenging myself to do this:

1. To learn more about God
2. To be excited about learning more about God
3. To allow my happiness and sense of peace to come from Him only, and to let it be a visible thing to others
4. To pass that happiness and sense of peace on to others, rather than relying on them to create it for me
5. To use that to encourage those around me to do the same